After yesterday's post on branding criminals, I saw this video of a break-in "artist" caught on tape. Watch it to the end. I don't think you would have to brand this guy. He's self-branding. (He also seems to be very nearly indestructible.)
I also received a critique of my Bristol Palin lament the other day, and I was reminded that "only Jesus was without sin. Bristol Palin is not our role model; Jesus is our role model." I guess I find that sort of response a tad disorienting. It actually makes me a little dizzy. It would be something like finding out your house painter had completely paint-splattered your patio, your pool, your cactus garden, and your dog, but he isn't even trying to clean up. He is, in fact, pulling out of your driveway. He's saying, "see you tomorrow-maybe." When you ask him about the mess, he says, "heah. Only Jesus is perfect."
In another sense, it would be like hearing Jesus Himself tell the story of the Good Samaritan only to have someone in the crowd respond, "okay, okay, I get it, Lord. It's okay to ignore wounded people on the roadside because only you are perfect, right? The Samaritan was, like, doing the legalistic thing, trying to work his way to heaven, and.."
<<deep sigh>>
It all brings me back to the sort of faith community I would design if I were a playwright capable of speaking the "city on a hill" into existence. Here's my version of what a "real" Christian church would look like:
The Perfect Church Community -- By Jim Riley | ||
| 1. | First of all: It probably wouldn't allow me as a member. If my Bristol critique made someone think I hold myself out as "not needing Jesus," then I should make it clear: I'm probably too selfish and impulsive to be a member of a community that really "took up its cross" daily. I say this to make clear what shouldn't need to be clarified: the speaker may sully the idea, but that doesn't make the idea any less important. Another way of putting it: just because we might not ever be Navy SEALs doesn't mean we don't need their services. | |
| 2. | No wimps, no whiners: the guys who hung out with Christ were tough dudes--ready to lop off an ear at the sign of an insult. Yes, they were meek, but it was a meekness that came out of strength of spirit, not out of cowardice. Ideally, everyone in a real Christian church should know how to shoot; they should know how to put the hurt on wrong-doers, even if they know the value of restraint. Believe it or not, I once encountered two teenage Christian boys who swore they wouldn't even defend their own mother from a murderer. Lord save us from that sort of cowardice--and from the pastors who preach it. Christ turned the other cheek, but he also turned the tables--and braided the whip. | |
| 3. | No False Holiness: Everyone in a real Christian church should be more or less who they are--not who they think they should be, unless that ideal really is scriptural. I've had it with people who pretend the joke isn't funny because it doesn't seem "grave enough" or "reverent." The same God who waxed sick of hungry complainers and threatened to give them meat until it came out their noses (Numbers 11), has a powerful sense of the comic. I don't trust anyone who doesn't have a sense of humor. | |
| 4. | Be Political, Make it Relevant: John the Baptist got right in Herod's face. We should too. Paul makes it clear that any leader who isn't a terror unto evil and a rewarder of good, isn't really a leader by God's standards. Pastors who preach abject obedience to evil are evil, and any pastor who isn't political these days, really isn't a pastor. Shepherds feed the flock, but they fight off wolves too. | |
| 5. | Have a Drink, Throw a Feast: You've heard me preach it before. The Wedding at Cana? The return of the Prodigal Son? Christians should have a good time. We have good news to celebrate. I'm not a very good dancer, but Christians should dance, play music, sing. King David made a few mistakes, but not while he was playing music. This is not, of course, an excuse for drunkenness or substance abuse; it is a recognition that Christ gave us wine to make our hearts glad. Don't make a gospel out of turning down His gift. | |
| 6. | Live the real commandments--not the gospel hobbies: We should spend more time crucifying ourselves for dishonesty, murderous hatreds, covetousness, infidelity, casual sabbaths, dishonoring parents--and we should spend less time on rapture rumination, diet holiness, and weird fads like "Christian environmentalism." We should spend more time taking scripture to life and less time putting Christian labels on junior college curriculum. | |
| 7. | Sex is not the enemy--infidelity is: Married Christian couples should have a Song of Solomon love life. They should get married young and have a lot of kids. Love is not a feeling that settles down on you. It's a decision. It is not "fate." It is "will." Christian "singles" and Christian "youth" culture--with serial dating, serial sensuality, and, at its very worst, serial abortion--is an abomination. Don't wait for your education to get married. Get married and educate each other. Don't spend your youth slumming through one heart-break after the next. Try to earn what a papa owns when his little boys run through the front door to give him a hug at night. | |
| 8. | Covenant is Everything: Why are we tithing to these mega-church audio-visual ministries when we could be tithing to each other, in real Christian communities, that would be unafraid to speak the truth? When a church gets too large, it starts operating like a franchise, or a businesses, and the gospel suffers. Keep it small. Keep it covenantal. The burden of one should be the burden of all--and the rest of the world should learn from that relationship. We wouldn't have this monstrous, hideously inefficient welfare state if Christians really cared for each other. | |
| 9. | Discipline the Remnant: the best and worst things about some "Christian Independents" is their very independence. Just because some of us pull ourselves out of the mainstream church, doesn't mean we've really replaced it until and unless we learn to submit to each other. I've seen a lot of the remnant claim, in effect, they are the "remnant of the remnant" because of their peculiarly keen collection of liturgical theories and domestic routines. It comes off as just plain nutty. Do not divide over non-essentials. | |
| 10. | Be the best at what you do: John Winthrop effectively said this was his wish for the Bay Colony. "Let it be as in New England." Ideally, a community of believers should be so devoted to doing their work well that others say, "those guys are the best doctors, the best lawyers, the best film-makers, the best brick-layers you can find." | |
Okay, so who wants to join up? Show of hands?
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