Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Rainy Day Present

Old Time AnglingEven though I think our public house is the best of all places to be on a rainy day, I don't expect guests to walk out of the fog and start buying pie--but yesterday that's precisely what happened. We had visitors all day, both for our public house and for our Adventures in the Old World program. (I was about to give the staff off early in the morning, but Presidents' Day brought the wandering adventurers in--despite the downpour.) In business, as in life, you need to have faith.


In the afternoon, we taped a promotion for summer day camp. We also debated whether my script was too high brow. You will have to imagine all sorts of compelling 18th century visuals, merging into pictures of living history on the farm, but it goes something like this:





Summer Day Camp Web Promotion


ANGELA SHADDIX
At a time when most Americans lived
on country farms, Thomas Jefferson
penned this advice to his nephew,
Peter Carr: "..Walking is the best
possible exercise. Habituate
yourself to walk very far...There
is no habit you will value so much
as that of walking far without
fatigue..."

BRANDON RYDER
Childhood, with every passing year,
has become more and more virtual.
Trees are screen-savers. Meadows
are flash animations. Games are
point and click. At Riley's Farm
Summer Day Camp, your children will
take long, guided walks across our
760 acres of country terrain.
Thomas Jefferson would be proud!

JON HARMON
"..Let your Conversation be without
Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of
a Tractable and Commendable Nature:
And in all Causes of Passion admit
Reason to Govern..." -George
Washington's Rules of Civility #58

BRANDON RYDER
Believe it or not, even for kids,
the rules of polite behavior in
society remains one of our most
popular workshops. Children learn
an historic, and a practical,
introduction to good manners...







The older I get, the more respect I have for good advertising. It's tougher work than any of the staid old professions and certainly harder than any government service, shy of actual combat duty. When you think about it, you are trying to get people to voluntarily change their behavior.


Perhaps another sketch will illustrate:





       The 60 Second Business Plan


Two men in their early thirties--Peter Finch and
Brad Bullock--sit, facing an investment banker,
Owen Clyde, in his office.


OWEN CLYDE
Now, uh, each of you--give me your
business plan. In sixty seconds.
Peter. You first.

PETER FINCH
Thank you. We want to import
and sell a Southeast-Asian grape
like fruit that has not yet seen
the American market.

OWEN CLYDE
A new fruit? Will people buy a
new fruit?

PETER FINCH
It's a beautiful deep red color
and we have already lined up a
very major pop star who loves
these little guys. Dibreeza we
call it--after the DEE-BREEZA
berry.

OWEN CLYDE
New berry. Check. New fruit.
New fruit. Very good. Mr.
Bullock. What do you have for
me?

BRAD BULLOCK
I represent the Consolidated
Federal Taxing Authority,
provisionally positioned under
Treasury for the moment. We
need to float three or four
billion in bonds to create a
credit card processing facility
that will collect a new consumer
tax, whenever a citizen makes a
purchase.

OWEN CLYDE
Do people want that?

BRAD BULLOCK
Well--uh--it doesn't really
matter if they want it or not.
They're going to get it, if you
catch my drift.


Brad opens his coat to show a gun holster.
He pulls out a set of hand-cuffs.


BRAD BULLOCK (CONT'D)
These things come in handy.

OWEN CLYDE
(Turning to Peter)
These new fruit people.
Can they do that?

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